ic inbox

[consignation]

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video ⬤ audio ⬤ text ⬤ delivery

jiang cheng / jiang wanyin ⬤ the untamed
residential district ⬤ some hovel with wei wuxian
moonblessing ⬤ iris

info ⬤ permissions ⬤ kinklist

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[consignation]

[ jiang cheng reads his text.

he visibly flinches, switches the video feed off. ]

...I lost him, Jin Ling. Wei Wuxian. For three months, during war. After I lost my parents, my whole sect. I lost him.

Maybe... Maybe it would've been hard. If I'd gotten him back but didn't.

If we had to start over again.

But there were times in those three months I would've died for the chance just to hear his voice. Or my dad's. Or my mom's.

It's not great, I get that. It's not what you hoped.

But it's not nothing. And with Jin Zixuan, we know it's more than you ever thought you'd have. I may not remeber raising you, A-Ling, but I don't need to to know not a day went by you didn't dream of your parents coming back into your life by whatever means, at whatever cost.

[ he doesn't need to because that, too, he saw in wei wuxian. ]

[inheritedpain]

i know it's not nothing
none of you
no one gets it

the only thing i ever hoped for here was getting to see them

this isn't about him not
living up to my expectations or
whatever

but i wanted to
make my own impression on him

i'm not a child and i'm not some
cut out of a son that he can just
figure out the key to

i'm never going to push him away i'm not stupid
who knows how long he's here
or i'm here



it just
its a lot and
i just get really mad and the last thing i want is him telling me my behaviour is bad
that i've been dishonouring him this whole time

i shouldn't have said anything at all but i was too mad

[consignation]

Be patient with him.
Be patient with yourself.
And be patient with me, A-Ling.

I know I'm not him.
I know.

You know where to find me.

[ he's tired, but.

at least this feels a little more like home.

just someone else he'll never be enough for.

someone else for which he'll never quite live up to expectations.

jiang cheng, jiang wanyin, is home. ]

[inheritedpain]

don't

don't DO that

you ARE you

you just don't remember

if you weren't you it would be easier!!

[consignation]

How can I make this easier?

[inheritedpain]

[ He doesn't know how to answer that. How can he? He's just as lost as they are. ]




walk fairy with me tomorrow.

[consignation]

...sure. When? Should I bring anything?
Do you want to get something to eat?

[inheritedpain]

I’m training with the Lans in the morning. Near the elder Hanguang-Jun ‘s place.

You can meet me in the park there, after.

[consignation]

Oh, your uncle's not good enough to train with? You have to get it from the Lans?

[ ignore him he's just real salty about lans ]

[inheritedpain]

Hanguang-Jun invited me to train with the other juniors.

If you’re going to run daily training instead obviously I’d be there

But he offered, how was I supposed to say no?

[consignation]

We train at 10:30, lunch at noon.

[ did he just make an ongoing time commitment with jin ling just to be petty at the lans? you bet your ass. ...but also he wants to spend more time with his nephew and it would be nice to have a little more structure to his days. ]

[inheritedpain]

[ this escalated quickly from ‘walk my dog with me tomorrow’ to ‘let’s train every day’, but he wants the latter so badly he doesn’t even complain. ]

I’ll be there.