consignation | eastbound inbox

[ jiang cheng is squinting so deeply he's starting to look like he's passed away in agony.

he has no idea what the fuck is going on but what he does know is he's not about to be one-upped by lan wangji at anything, especially when it comes to his brother. ]

When am I less willing than Lan Wangji at anything? He's the one with ten miles of precepts.

To hold back twenty li of intentions, surely you know that? Even better than I do?

( he... is fairly sure his brother would have to if they'd been getting intimate over the years?!?! )

[ maybe they don't do the pillow talk, wei wuxian. ever think of that?? ]

What is it I'm supposed to be willing about?

( they don't either!!! ... because lan zhan is asleep by the time wei wuxian goes to bed, and wei wuxian is asleep when lan zhan wakes up. so. )

Springtime, apparently?

[ today we are learning that from everyone but lan wangji's perspective, his relationship with jiang cheng and wei wuxian is the same. ]

Is it ... not yet apparent that I need you to be a little more specific?

... You did read the books Nie-gongzi brought with him to Gusu, didn't you? I know you did, I saw you!

( this here is the heart of his confusion. YOU'VE READ PORN, YOU KNOW THERE'S POETIC PHRASING??? )

Wei Wuxian.

[ jiang cheng's voice is completely flat by now, the 'i've reached the bottom of the barrel of my very limited patience' deadpan. ]

I don't know how to adequately express this to you, but our Gusu years are much more recent to you than me.

[ he has no idea what fucking books, my man. he's rebuilt a sect and raised a teenager in that time. his ability to keep nie huaisang's bullshit in his memory is nil. especially not with nie huaisang creating new and equally vapidly new bullshit every other day in his sect leader life. ]

Edited 2023-02-07 21:34 (UTC)

... I'm starting to think you never read porn in your life, even when I sat there seeing you actually reading porn. Should Xunxian loan you some of his novels? I haven't read them, but I've been assured to their subject material, I'm sure he has access to a few?

( he knows you made yourself hopeless in 'love' but that wasn't a surprise, he's just surprised at the lack of imagination??? )