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[consignation]

jiang wanyin

missives | encounters

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[lanclan]

[ Well. That is interesting and unexpected, although ... the difference in her appearance makes sense, he supposes. ]

She takes on the guise of someone else when she visits me.

How often do you see her?

[consignation]

Nearly every day. Is that strange? I got so used to it I stopped paying much attention.

[ it's mostly just been nice and feeling of home. ]

How does she appear to you?

[lanclan]

[ Hua Cheng knows the look of the yellow-clad man, of course, but not the spectre's identity. No one knows, and Xichen would like to keep it that way. It makes him feel like he is weak, to be mired in guilt by such a horrendous person as his a-Yao, unable to escape ... but he hates being so alone with his nightly terrors, and Jiang Cheng won't tell Wangji or Wei Wuxian; it isn't as if either of them can help more than Hua Cheng already does.

It's a little while before he replies. ]

Jin Guangyao.

He does not let me move for the duration.

[consignation]

[ ...jin guangyao? jiang cheng's coparent? jin ling's other uncle? that jin guangyao?? ]

The ghost doesn't let you move for the duration. It only resembles him. He has nothing to do with it.

[ jiang cheng has thought about this a lot because he never thought he'd find himself in a version of reality where it was even more futile to try to win his mother's approval. ]

Do you know why the ghost is appearing to you as him...?

[lanclan]

[ What a strange question. ]

Because I killed him, and did not die with him.

[consignation]

[ what the FUCK is happening in the future!!!!! it's a good thing this is over text so no one can hear jiang cheng's spluttering as he tries to get his thoughts in order. ]

I doubt the reality of the situation is that simple or as damning as you present it. And even if you would ask me to take it at face value, you owe no one your life in that manner.

[lanclan]

You were not at Guanyin Temple. Not yet.

[ That's clear now. ]

I am sorry to reveal such a dark truth in this way.

[consignation]

You're speaking with the man who is known for nothing better than putting his own brother down like a dog, something Lan Wangji will not soon let me forget.

I will not hear your apologies and I will not accept your account of this. The only fault of yours I have ever counted is the immeasurable depth of your kindness.

[lanclan]

[ A sad laugh breaks free, covered by a hand as he feels an intense gratitude for the fact this is written, not broadcast. Jiang Cheng, like everyone else, has too much faith in him. If they all mocked him for his foolishness it would be more understandable to bear, and perhaps the other sect leader will in the future.

Xichen had never known, secluded as he was before his arrival in this accursed realm. ]

Wangji does not hate you, he acts out of compassion for another.

In any case, [ Moving this topic away from himself as best he can, ] you do not think the boy 'Five' is trustworthy?

[consignation]

I would be beside myself with gratitude if Lan Wangji could make things as simple for us as to hate me.

[ whatever they have going on instead is worse. ]

Five is unstable at best. Volatile and prone to paranoid fits. Generally unpleasant to speak to. He's not a child and takes great offense to being treated like one.

[lanclan]

I see. He told me he was one of Wangji's close friends but his charm fell short of what I have experienced from others who have insisted the same in the past.

[ Namely, the sweet earnestness of Wei Wuxian. Five lacked any such thing from their brief encounter, forceful in his proud status as Wangji's friend. Xichen is dubious, but he knows these people little. ]

Do you have trouble sleeping, given the White Woman's attention on you?

[consignation]

That doesn't surprise me. For all his flaws, Five is hardly unaccomplished and in my experience Lan Wangji prefers to suffer fools over the complacent.

[ there's a long pause before jiang cheng manages to answer the question. ]

...not at all. If anything, I've been sleeping better. I would similarly appreciate if this wasn't repeated anywhere, but.

This is the closest I've felt to home since before the war.

[lanclan]

[ Privately, he rather thinks Wangji is keeping tabs on people and letting his stoic nature come off idly charming in and of itself. It wouldn't be the stupidest thing to do. After all, how can anyone tell what Xichen's little brother is thinking? ]

I will say nothing, of course.

I am glad to hear you do not suffer.
If that changes, know that the Ghost King, Hua Cheng, has contained the bathhouse within his territory, and it is harder for the White Woman to enter. If you require some respite, for whatever reason, you are welcome.

[consignation]

That's very kind. I imagine you will be taking refuge there?

I may visit, if that is the case. However, for me...

[ there is once again a very long pause. ]

...I think I shall miss it, once it's gone. I've been so homesick, but home isn't a place that exists anymore. Wei Wuxian is changed, moved past me, has moved on. Everyone else is gone. Pretending this last short while, being a pampered young man again, feeling that cutting disapproval, trying to chase it until it becomes warmth... I don't think I'll ever get this close to who I used to be again.

[ and who he used to be, in spite of it all, was happy. ]

[lanclan]

There is nothing wrong in longing for the past, a home that was simpler and secure in a memory. I will not say that you should not take cold comfort in a ghost's effects.

I do, however, know that Yunmeng Jiang would not be as prosperous or strong as it is during my time, if it were not for a young man whose drive could not be stifled.
I have always approved of every Wanyin I have known.

Even the one who drank liquor after-hours in Cloud Recesses.

[consignation]

[ WELL THAT'S ONE WAY TO PUT A STOP TO JIANG CHENG'S ANGST RIDDLED REMINISCING. he finds himself immediately flushing from head to toe that 1) xichen knows about that, but of course xichen knows about that 2) xichen knows and remembers about that all these years later 3) xichen knows and remembers and for some fathomless reason approves??? only because xichen is the kindest most generous person in the universe, clearly. ]

It wasn't my idea.

[lanclan]

[ A nicer topic than how many ghosts are haunting them and why, to be sure. ]

I knew whose idea it was.

[consignation]

Lan Xichen.

[ jiang cheng is tensely, tentatively, hands sweating and heart pounding, testing out a more casual form of personal address between them. he is also pretending to be as cool as a cucumber. once more, thank the heavens for text messages. ]

I'm beginning to suspect you enjoy elevating my heart rate for your entertainment.

[lanclan]

That would only be beneficial to me if I could see the effects firsthand, you must be mistaken.

Do you suppose I never think back to old times too?

[consignation]

Not at all. Even in those days, I thought of you as someone who carried in him a deep well of thoughtfulness and memory.

Though, I've been a little worried for you as of late. That you now spend all your time looking back, when I should hope that the best days of your life are still ahead.

[lanclan]

If it is any consolation, there is little hope of my remaining in seclusion here.

[consignation]

It's a start. Have you time now for a visitor?

[lanclan]

Wanyin, of course. I always have time for you.

[consignation]

[ ah yes definitely a polite thing xichen says to all the rabble. ]

And where can I find you? Have you eaten?

[lanclan]

[ Food? Called out!! ]

I'm at the apartment, I was going to make some tea.